Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Childhood Memories Flashback

 Not very often do i remember my child hood days .But ,when i do ,i reach to another world ,which belonged to me,and yes ,it will always belong to me .
Although ,the memories are getting fainter with passing years ,but they begin to recur when i see a young girl playing ,or walking by her parents side .I relate myself to every little girl who looks innocent and shy ,because that she is the reflection of my childhood.


I have always been a quiet girl ,who lived in her own world ,and was happy in her own musings .Those summer days ,summer holidays ,which were invested in cutting and pasting work . i had my notebook full of pictures of animals, flowers ,paper cuttings of foods such as cakes .Then turning the pages of the notebook ,to get the smell of that fevicol ,is something i don't miss much today,but definitely feels like ages have gone by  .
Stealing sketch pens from my sister's shelf and writing headers with it ,after all ,we had just one sketch pen box to be shared .And once the session got over,i would re check my own notebook with the red pen ,pretending to be a school teacher. 
Using the same course books ,that were passed on from generations ,from first sister ,to the second and finally to me.
School used to get over by 12 pm and back home ,i would sit in front of the tv ,to watch the afternoon transmission for kids .And ,every Sunday ,there was the cartoon series Wizard of Oz .I don't remember the characters now ...there was this Dorothy ,scare crow , a lion  ..forgotten the other names though . 
Around 4 o clock ,i would wander around the backside gardens to pluck flowers or play with a few selected friends..but did not have much friends of my age .I dont know ,why ,i have always enjoyed more in my own company ,than with others .Probably ,that gave me the freedom to explore the nature around .
Going to the vegetable market with dad / mum ,and amused by the variety of vegetables that were there ...little did i know, that once i grow up,there would be nothing special in those veggies to look at.Waking up late in the morning at 11 am ,when it was almost time for lunch .
Playing with dolls ,adorning them with jewelry's and having the first teddy bear 'gobu' made by sister ,from an old piece of winter cap .Those free flowing frilly frocks ,which always got shorter by the start of the next summers ,and i wondered ...that why the clothes are getting shorter .
That dependency on parents was good enough ,because ,it never gave the thought  ,that one day we will have to earn for ourselves ,and we would not be required to seek parents permission to buy a new thing .Today , i wish for same kind of bondage .i wish ,i were not so independent ,and still had to give explanation to my parents ,about where i am spending money ,what i am buying,where i am going...because that way..i would not have to bear the brunt of the wrong decisions that i took in my life ..


Studies were always good ,since i always scored the highest ,and never realized ,that a day would come,when i would be complaining why my hard work doesn't pay .Worry and stress were non existent in my dictionary .That mental maths book ,that i always tried to keep at the bottommost of the stack of books .
The 5th class mathematics book ,which was based on the space theme ,and word problems had aliens and UFO characters from a different planet .One name i still remember --Mandy moon bought pens at a Cost price of .....Dad teaching the maths sums ,and scolding,when i didnt get them right ...miss those days..


Today ,i feel that the young girl is lost somewhere. That girl is not me ,but someone else who is lost in those Childhood days ..and i m searching for her ...the image disappearing in the smoke of time...with silent footprints ,it keeps walking away .And i search for her ..as if she is my baby ...when the reality is ..that she is me ,in the time that went by ...

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